self fulfilling silliness

so the hubs took the kids to walmart to pick up some diapers and a new body ball for me because i just realized the one i have is for shorter people, and while they were gone i started getting dinner ready. we're going to the hubs' company party tonight, which is loathsome, but my friends N and B volunteered to come HERE to babysit. they're married and have a boy, T, who is my boy's age and are apparently gluttons for punishment or something. but i love them and this is a shining example of why. i mean, who does that?

anyway, where was i?

oh, yeah, walmart...dinner...so there i am, standing at the sink peeling potatoes, listening to the chickens searing in the hot roasting pan on top of the stove, and my mind starts to do that crazy mommy wandering thing and before i know it, in my head, i've killed off me and the hubs (no idea how, it happened, it just did) and i'm standing there bawling because all i can think about is the look on my boy's face when they tell him we're de*d. (i'm too superstitious even to type the word.) i start thinking of the questions he'd be asking and who'd be taking care of my babies and i'm suddenly a wreck. i put the chickens in the oven, close the door, throw down the dish towels i used to hold the hot handles on the pan, and go back to my peeling, snuffling, and wild imagining.

from behind me comes a sound.

*poof*

it wasn't loud--in fact, it was very subdued. and it was familiar. so familiar that my brain knew what it was before my body did. my brain was thinking. "hmm. fire. but how? grease on the stove? nah." and then my body turned around and my brain said, "ahhhh. dish towel." 

yes, friends, in my insane reverie i had thrown the dish towel on the burner, which was still glowing red because i was distracted by my own lunacy and had never turned it off.  *poof*. had i been 12 inches nearer the stove i might have gone on fire myself.

Comments

[Colleen]

You're freaking me out with your wild imagination. This is the FIRST night I've ever left Delaney. My parents are babysitting overnight so Roger and I can celebrate my looming birthday at a downtown hotel. I was feeling safe and warm and happy and good about it. Until...I read YOUR POST! Ugh. I have a mind just like yours though. I take myself through those dreadful scenarios all the time. Why? Because I'm a freak.

Glad you didn't catch on fire and hope you have a great time tonight!

[slouching mom]

So glad you're OK. My husband, who is unbelievably absent-minded (but not because he is envisioning catastrophic scenarios -- that seems like more of female preoccupation, because we're so much more intuitive, aren't we?), was reading the morning paper on Friday when he set the paper on fire. He had set the paper down on a lit candle. It was pretty funny, mostly because no one was hurt.

[Jessi]

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who can't help but imagine highly unlikely events and what would follow...however, this has never resulted in a fire for me. Scary! Glad you didn't catch your hair on fire.

[MoxieMomma]

colleen! i'm sorry! i hope you had a great time.

SM--i'm glad i wasn't the only one setting things ablaze this weekend!

Jessi--had i caught my hair on fire it would have been a huge conflagration because i have tons of hair. i'm not sure if i'd have been able to put that one out :)

[Jack's Raging Mommy]

You were imagining you were dead and nearly killed yourself. That is too great. (I also have vivid and morbid imaginings. Then again I'm not really a paragon of sanity so I don't know if that's a good thing for you)

(Also, I read it as "While I was standing at the sink peeing")

[MoxieMomma]

yes, i was imagining the dead thing and nearly killed myself--J loved it too. i saved the burned dish towel as a reminder of how crazy i am.

and omg, if i could stand at the sink and pee? we'd be rich! maybe. or something. never mind!

[the Mater]

Do you write scripts for disaster movies? And I thought Jenn had a wild imagination ... LOL.

You're sure your mind didn't start the fire, kinda like Carrie or whoever that chick was?!

[MoxieMomma]

mater, jenn does, indeed, have a wild imagination :)

i'm also quite sure it wasn't my mind that started the fire because if i could do that there would be many more fires breaking out around me and on a much more regular basis!